The Green Monster

I remember when I was a young child and I would go to the store with my mother and I would go by the toy section and see all those bright, shiny, new toys everywhere and I would beg her to let me have one. I would plead and plead with her to buy me one and if she did that, I promised I would never ask for anything again........until the next time I wanted something. But my mother always told me no. She told me I didn't need any of those toys and I would get mad and put on my pouty face the rest of the day because I thought she was the meanest mommy in the world. I just wanted one toy for goodness sakes. Why couldn't I get that? Looking back on it now, I am so glad my mother didn't buy me a toy every time I asked because I would have taken it home, played with it for a day-if I was really interested two days- and then I would put it off to the side and never play with it again. And it would not have been a good investment on her part because let's not forget, she is the one who would have paid for those toys. And by not buying those toys for me, she taught me a very valuable lesson about life. I can't always get what I want.

Now you might be wondering  what exactly is my point? Why am I bringing up my childhood visits to the store with my mother that always had me turning into a whiny, greedy little baby? Well, you see, the reason I wanted all that stuff was because I knew other kids had those things and I always wanted to fit in and be accepted. And I have already mentioned in a previous blog about trying to be perfect and thought that a key to that was getting those bright and shiny new toys. My motivation was not simply that I wanted the toy. It was of little significance what the toy was. I couldn't have cared less what it was. I wanted the toy because others had it. My motive was sheer, unadulterated, pure, full fledged jealousy. I was jealous plain and simple and I wanted what everyone else seemed to have. I wanted acceptance and the toy was just the physical manifestation of that desire. My mother didn't let me have those toys because we were poor, money was tight and she knew as well as I did that I was never going to use that toy after one use. I may have many issues with my mother, but her teaching me this lesson is not one of them. Today I am not spoiled, I don't feel entitled and I don't walk around looking at what others have and get envious. In fact, I view jealousy as a completely wasted emotion. Why bother coveting what someone else has? Why get mad or upset that they have all that and get motivated enough to go out and get that for yourself, if you truly want it? And that is the other question, do you really want what they have or is it just easier to focus on their life and bitch about all you don't have to cope with your unhappiness? That is how I feel about jealousy. You are jealous because you are miserable and unhappy and can't stand the idea that someone else may have just a tiny bit of happiness and joy. That is what eats you up but instead of admitting that cold, hard truth you would rather hide behind the mask of envy. You would rather be immature and whine about how they have all this and you don't. I don't know about anyone else but being jealous makes no sense to me because if you truly want what your neighbor has, go out and get it yourself (and no I am not telling you to go break in and steal it). I mean get yourself motivated and realize that you can have a lot of that same stuff if you work for it. And who cares if they had to work for it or got it honest or not? Stop living your life based on other people and live it for YOU. There is simply no other way to put it. Don't be jealous or envious or wish you had other peoples' luck. They most likely didn't just fall into what they have now, they most likely worked for it or made choices to influence their present. Understand that your choices are half chance and so is everyone else's. Sometimes you are ahead and other times, you lag behind but the game is long and no where near over. Stop being jealous because it only wastes your time feeling it and brings you down, along with those who have to constantly hear that whining come out of your mouth. Jealousy also wastes your life because you sit around feeling sorry for what you don't have instead of enjoying what you do have and being motivated to go after what you don't. When you are jealous, it is not going to change a damn thing. You will still be where you are and they will still be where they are. Take my advice on this and this is something I have learned first hand. Live your life and let others live theirs. You will be far happier by not focusing on what others have. And I look back now at those times in the store with my mother and I thank her so much for NOT giving in and letting me have it.

Until next time,

Mel