Hey everybody
It seems as if it has been forever since the last time I posted one of these. I started doing this blog to keep up with the regular goings on in my life but I have found it harder and harder to keep this updated as the months have gone on. I hope that this finds you all well and in good health and good spirits. I know that a few of us are struggling out there, whether it be physically, emotionally, financially or spiritually. It is tough I know. But it will get better. Trust me on that. And when you see the sun shining through the clouds again, you will bask in the rays like never before. But just keep your head up marching forward and know that you are not alone. I am right there beside you, cheering you on and standing beside you. You can do it. Please believe in yourself as much as I believe in you. And please also know that you are never alone.
So I have to make this quick as a I am short on time yet again, but I just wanted to say a couple things. First of all, I hope you all have gotten a chance to get out and buy my book, Lamentations of an Idealistic Individual. If you have bought your copy, thanks so much. And if you haven't, what in the world is wrong with you? Get up now and go get it. Just kidding. If you don't buy a copy, I won't hold it against you. But I do truly appreciate all the support. Thanks and keep it up. It never gets old.
The other thing I have to say is please go out and volunteer. Whether you give your time, your money, or both, there is nothing like community service work to make your day. I love volunteering and donating whatever I can. To give something back to those who need it is one of the greatest joys a person can get. As for me, I am going to give blood and then am going to go see about volunteering at Habitat for Humanity. It's a cause I have always wanted to get involved in but that notorious excuse of I don't have any time kept holding me back. Well not anymore. I am going to become proactive today. And I am going to help people out by building their dreams, from the ground up. Won't you come help me? And if it is not Habitat for Humanity or donating blood, find a charitable organization that works for you. There are literally millions to chose from. But please, give yourself the best present you could ever receive and volunteer.
Until next time and I promise it won't be so long next time,
Mel
PS. I finally bit the bullet and started up a twitter account. Follow me at melknepp@twitter.com to get an inside handle of my life as I live it.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
Step Up to the Challenge
Hello there everyone!!! I am back...........finally. It has been way, way too long since I have posted but you know the crazy ride we are on called life just kept me busy. I have been mentioning the fact that I am a published poet now, and that still kind of seems surreal to me most of the time, but there is way more to do after you publish a book than just have it put on websites or on book shelves. There is this thing called marketing that just takes so much work and effort but it is so much fun at the same time. I have been taking my business cards and my book marks and my copies of my book all over my hometown in an effort to get people on board with the idea of buying my book. The fact that one of their own, an ordinary small town girl like me, could get something so amazing accomplished makes them compliment me and praise me so much, I don't think that will ever be something I can handle. And that is because at the root of it all, I am humble. Now, once you say you are humble, you inevitable are not because to think of yourself as humble is not very...........humble. But, suffice it to say, I am humbled by the incredible gift of writing that I have been given. It is the most wonderful and amazing gift any person could ever receive in my opinion. And it truly makes me smile and makes my life worth it to have my talent and my ability put out there for all to see. I don't think that sounded nearly as humble as I wanted to but it truly was meant to be humble. I guess you can't get away with sounding humble because, as I said above, once you say you are humble, you can't be.
But anyway, moving on to something else that has kept me busy the last few weeks is a play I am working on. Let me tell you all a little bit about it. I have wanted to write a play for a long time now. In fact, I started writing one nine years ago. But I could never get past the first scene. Why? Because I thought I couldn't write one. I thought I was fooling myself thinking I could ever write anything like that. I lacked confidence and belief in myself and my ability. I was simply selling myself short. I felt insecure in every word I wrote and I never had any motivation to keep going. I did what I always did in my life. I quit. I gave up. I stopped working at something because it got a little bit hard. I was the type of person who came up to a wall and instead of figuring out how to get over it, or around it, or through it.........I simply turned around and walked away and cried tears of pity the whole way back to where I came from and had excuses all along the way. That wall was too high or too thick or too sturdy. I was never going to climb over it or get through it. How exactly did I know that? I never even tried. I simply refused to even step up to the challenge that created because I had no strength, or at least I thought I didn't. I failed because I never even tried. And it made me miserable. I would always bitch about how much I wanted something and for a little bit, I was so committed and dedicated to that goal. Then something would come along, an obstacle of some sort, and I would just quit. I am embarrassed to say that today but back in my youth, I was nothing but a coward and a quitter. It was what I did best. And writing a play was one of many things I said I was going to do but then never followed through because it was hard and it was challenging and that was way past my element. You know, the safe and easy element I kept myself in due to fear, doubt, weakness, and insecurity. I felt if I wrote a play, no one would want to hear what I had to say anyway. No one would listen to me tell my story and besides that, it would suck because it would not be as good as other plays. They were phenomenal and excellent and I could never write something like that. I could never write something so beautiful and profound. I would always tell myself back then I can't do that. I can't write this. I can't........I can't.............I can't. And now, I can't even say the word can't. I hate that word. I despise it because it sets limits in our own minds and in our own abilities. We start to believe in our own fear that we can't do things. We can't rise above that fear or that wall that we have come across. Except we can. I can. I can do it. I can write a play. I can climb over that wall. I can do what I dream to do. I can do anything. I just have to be willing to try. Eleanor Roosevelt, who is one of the biggest influences in my life, once said that "we must do things we think we cannot do" and she was totally right. In order for us to find true success, we have to go out and push the boundaries of our ability and our determination. Yes it is scary as hell because you may lose. You may fall. And you may fall big time. But sometimes you gotta lose til you win as the song lyric goes. Because it will be alright again. When you do do something that you felt going into was above you and more than you could do it is an experience like no other. It is standing and basking in the bright sunlight after spending so much time in the darkness of the storm. It is standing on top of that mountain looking down at the valley. It is finally winning the game after losing so many times. But suffering through the darkness, the storms, the heart break and the losing is what makes the sunlight that much more amazing. You simply cannot see the true beauty and the realness of the sun until after you have gone through all that darkness and you can't appreciate winning until after you have lost. And when you do the things you fear the most and believe you can't do, you feel as if you can walk amongst the clouds and can soar in the stars because you did it. You overcame every odd, including your own doubt, to make it happen. Because some people want it to happen, some people wish it would happen and others make it happen. That is how you overcome the limits in your own mind. And believe me, I know this is the truth. I spent years being so afraid and telling myself I couldn't do things. I was so scared of losing, I never even played. But things have changed now. Dramatically and drastically. I do one thing every day that scares me and that I don't think I can do. Sometimes it's rather small like seeing a spider on the floor and instead of running away and screaming like a crazy person, I stand there and as calmly as I can watch it crawl. Or sometimes I will smile at a stranger I meet walking down the hallway, or I will take up a conversation with some one I have never met while waiting in line at the store. And sometimes, I do something that is a HUGE challenge to me like writing a book and then publishing it so the world may see it. Or losing 75 pounds. Or writing a play. Things I told myself I can't do became things I can do and I did do. And the joy I feel in my soul because of doing those things is second to none. The belief I have in myself now is at an all time high and keeps continuing to grow. My self-confidence is through the roof. And the inner strength I possess, which I might add has been there all along, makes nothing too challenging for me. I may try it and I may not win but I played the game. And again, sometimes you gotta lose until you win. That is just the way life goes. But the only way to fail is by giving up and giving in to your fear of the challenge. To get to that wall and turn around is giving up. I used to be that person. Now, I am the person who will find a way around that wall, or through that wall, or over that wall, or under that wall because I won't let a little word like can't stop me. I won't let myself be controlled by my fear or doubt. And I won't let myself talk me out of taking on a challenge. The more challenging prospect it is, the more likely I will jump at the chance to do it. I believe I can, and I will. That is why I was able to write a play. I didn't let anything, including myself, stop me. And now looking back on it, what an amazing accomplishment it truly is. I spent nine years trying to write a play and never could because of fear. Once I let the fear go and tried it anyway, within four months, I had a full length play written. I just had to stop holding myself back from finishing it. I had to stop keeping myself from fulfilling all the things I was meant to. And that is why I have been awol these past few weeks. Writing a play and marketing a book and sleeping and reading and staying active has taken up all of my time but here I am again to say don't ever give up or stop believing in yourself. Believe in you cause you're worth it. And don't let the bad days we all inevitably face outnumber the good ones or let the sadness overtake the joy. And never let the fear of losing keep you from playing the game because everything is worth it when you do win. I am on this amazing journey called life with you and I am rooting you own, believing in you with everything I have inside of me because I know, I believe in my heart, that we are all going to rise above the challenge that life throws at us. YES WE CAN by doing those things which we think we can't.
Until next time (and hopefully it's not such a long break)
Take care and rise to the challenge
Mel
But anyway, moving on to something else that has kept me busy the last few weeks is a play I am working on. Let me tell you all a little bit about it. I have wanted to write a play for a long time now. In fact, I started writing one nine years ago. But I could never get past the first scene. Why? Because I thought I couldn't write one. I thought I was fooling myself thinking I could ever write anything like that. I lacked confidence and belief in myself and my ability. I was simply selling myself short. I felt insecure in every word I wrote and I never had any motivation to keep going. I did what I always did in my life. I quit. I gave up. I stopped working at something because it got a little bit hard. I was the type of person who came up to a wall and instead of figuring out how to get over it, or around it, or through it.........I simply turned around and walked away and cried tears of pity the whole way back to where I came from and had excuses all along the way. That wall was too high or too thick or too sturdy. I was never going to climb over it or get through it. How exactly did I know that? I never even tried. I simply refused to even step up to the challenge that created because I had no strength, or at least I thought I didn't. I failed because I never even tried. And it made me miserable. I would always bitch about how much I wanted something and for a little bit, I was so committed and dedicated to that goal. Then something would come along, an obstacle of some sort, and I would just quit. I am embarrassed to say that today but back in my youth, I was nothing but a coward and a quitter. It was what I did best. And writing a play was one of many things I said I was going to do but then never followed through because it was hard and it was challenging and that was way past my element. You know, the safe and easy element I kept myself in due to fear, doubt, weakness, and insecurity. I felt if I wrote a play, no one would want to hear what I had to say anyway. No one would listen to me tell my story and besides that, it would suck because it would not be as good as other plays. They were phenomenal and excellent and I could never write something like that. I could never write something so beautiful and profound. I would always tell myself back then I can't do that. I can't write this. I can't........I can't.............I can't. And now, I can't even say the word can't. I hate that word. I despise it because it sets limits in our own minds and in our own abilities. We start to believe in our own fear that we can't do things. We can't rise above that fear or that wall that we have come across. Except we can. I can. I can do it. I can write a play. I can climb over that wall. I can do what I dream to do. I can do anything. I just have to be willing to try. Eleanor Roosevelt, who is one of the biggest influences in my life, once said that "we must do things we think we cannot do" and she was totally right. In order for us to find true success, we have to go out and push the boundaries of our ability and our determination. Yes it is scary as hell because you may lose. You may fall. And you may fall big time. But sometimes you gotta lose til you win as the song lyric goes. Because it will be alright again. When you do do something that you felt going into was above you and more than you could do it is an experience like no other. It is standing and basking in the bright sunlight after spending so much time in the darkness of the storm. It is standing on top of that mountain looking down at the valley. It is finally winning the game after losing so many times. But suffering through the darkness, the storms, the heart break and the losing is what makes the sunlight that much more amazing. You simply cannot see the true beauty and the realness of the sun until after you have gone through all that darkness and you can't appreciate winning until after you have lost. And when you do the things you fear the most and believe you can't do, you feel as if you can walk amongst the clouds and can soar in the stars because you did it. You overcame every odd, including your own doubt, to make it happen. Because some people want it to happen, some people wish it would happen and others make it happen. That is how you overcome the limits in your own mind. And believe me, I know this is the truth. I spent years being so afraid and telling myself I couldn't do things. I was so scared of losing, I never even played. But things have changed now. Dramatically and drastically. I do one thing every day that scares me and that I don't think I can do. Sometimes it's rather small like seeing a spider on the floor and instead of running away and screaming like a crazy person, I stand there and as calmly as I can watch it crawl. Or sometimes I will smile at a stranger I meet walking down the hallway, or I will take up a conversation with some one I have never met while waiting in line at the store. And sometimes, I do something that is a HUGE challenge to me like writing a book and then publishing it so the world may see it. Or losing 75 pounds. Or writing a play. Things I told myself I can't do became things I can do and I did do. And the joy I feel in my soul because of doing those things is second to none. The belief I have in myself now is at an all time high and keeps continuing to grow. My self-confidence is through the roof. And the inner strength I possess, which I might add has been there all along, makes nothing too challenging for me. I may try it and I may not win but I played the game. And again, sometimes you gotta lose until you win. That is just the way life goes. But the only way to fail is by giving up and giving in to your fear of the challenge. To get to that wall and turn around is giving up. I used to be that person. Now, I am the person who will find a way around that wall, or through that wall, or over that wall, or under that wall because I won't let a little word like can't stop me. I won't let myself be controlled by my fear or doubt. And I won't let myself talk me out of taking on a challenge. The more challenging prospect it is, the more likely I will jump at the chance to do it. I believe I can, and I will. That is why I was able to write a play. I didn't let anything, including myself, stop me. And now looking back on it, what an amazing accomplishment it truly is. I spent nine years trying to write a play and never could because of fear. Once I let the fear go and tried it anyway, within four months, I had a full length play written. I just had to stop holding myself back from finishing it. I had to stop keeping myself from fulfilling all the things I was meant to. And that is why I have been awol these past few weeks. Writing a play and marketing a book and sleeping and reading and staying active has taken up all of my time but here I am again to say don't ever give up or stop believing in yourself. Believe in you cause you're worth it. And don't let the bad days we all inevitably face outnumber the good ones or let the sadness overtake the joy. And never let the fear of losing keep you from playing the game because everything is worth it when you do win. I am on this amazing journey called life with you and I am rooting you own, believing in you with everything I have inside of me because I know, I believe in my heart, that we are all going to rise above the challenge that life throws at us. YES WE CAN by doing those things which we think we can't.
Until next time (and hopefully it's not such a long break)
Take care and rise to the challenge
Mel
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