Hey everyone!! Its hard to believe but it has been a whole week since the last time I blogged. I think that must be a record for me. I just have been so busy to even get a chance to sit down and blog anything. I have plenty to say cause well, I am full of opinions and thoughts and passion. I never have a shortage of topics. I am just trying to juggle about seven things at once which is NOT easy to do at all. I have gained a newfound respect for those people out there who can multi-task, day in and day out, and do it seemingly without any trouble. I have found in doing so many things at once keeps me from thinking too much and from getting bored, which is a good thing cause when I get bored is when I get in trouble.
So what can I talk about today? Should I tell you all about the play I am writing? No, I shouldn't because it is not something I am even thinking about writing but I am going to tell you about it anyway. I am going to tell you how it scares me shitless to write a play because its so far outside of my comfort zone. I am a poet, not a playwright. At least that is what my conscious mind tells me. And my conscious mind tells me I need a plan. I need to think about the story and the characters and how it will all fit together. But remember one of my first blogs was about not thinking so much? Well, this is the reason why. I can't think about writing a play because it puts too fucking much pressure on me to write. I feel like I am a failure because I allow my thoughts to get in the way. So I am not going to think about it. I have written so many pages since I stopped thinking about writing it or planning every scene out. This play is being led by something far stronger and more powerful than me. Its going wherever my unconscious mind takes me and I don't have any plan at all with the play. It will become whatever it is meant to be. I am not in control of the words that are getting put down at all and I am okay with that. It is the only way to write anything of substance in my opinion. When I write, I have to NOT think about it because otherwise the words will be hollow, false and fake. Anyone who reads it will see right through the hollowness and won't believe a word of it. So its been my experience that the best things I have ever written are in those times when I don't think about writing. I just let the inspiration simmer inside of my soul until it erupts out of me and then I just grab a pen and write or get to a computer screen and type or get a tape recorder and speak. I don't edit or think or second guess. I get out of my own way. And that is my advice on how to write anything, whether its a play or a poem or an essay or a book. Just stop thinking and let go. That is true of anything in life as well. Thinking too much is a bad thing. Life is about the feeling and if we spend too much time thinking, we miss out on the feeling.
The thing about writing is it has to be organic or it will not hold anyone's attention. The passion will come out in every single line of dialogue and in every single scene if the play is written from a place of honesty and truth. So you cannot write while thinking because when we think, our thoughts make us doubt and become afraid of what we are writing. We think Oh My God I can't write that. Someone might get offended. Well, when you let your imagination take over, it will take you to places that your fear can't touch. It will take you to places that knows no doubt or has any negativity or fakeness. It is a place of passion and light. That is where you have to go to write something of substance. If none of this is making sense to you, let me try this example. When you do a writing exercise called brainstorming, you do nothing but write. You put pen to paper for minutes at a time and you don't allow yourself to stop. You don't second guess or erase or edit. There is no censoring. That is what I am talking about when I say if you want to write something profound and passionate, let yourself go and stop thinking. Just write. Become a slave to the deeper part of yourself and let that be what guides you. Don't think. Just write. I know maybe I don't make sense to some of you. I get that some people write according to a plan and that is totally fine.........for them. But for me, I can't do that. I can't go this happens first and then this happens and etc., etc. I have tried to do that and trust me when I say that I sucked ass on those attempts. I fucking failed miserably trying to write like that. I tried to write like that...I really did but that process simply does not work for me. I remember in college, my English professors were so perplexed at my process for writing papers because I would never do an outline before I started writing. I would just take out a sheet of paper and begin to write. I would write an entire paper first and then go back and revise that and edit it. Then I would make out an outline at the end because for some reason, every single English professor demands an outline with the paper you write. They were like that is completely backwards. But I am just a person who thinks outside the box because, when it comes to writing, I don't think at all. I just feel my way through whatever I am writing. I am a non-conformist in every other aspect of my life so why not my writing too? I suspect many of my college professors have not had another student like me and that is not me being arrogant or egotistical, just honest. Most people I know don't share the same type of writing behaviors as I do.
I say most, because I know of a couple other people who do share this philosophy with me. And I was struggling with writing this play I am working on right now because of me trying to conform and be normal in how I went about writing it until I heard the best advice ever in "allow yourself to make a mess". As soon as I heard the amazing words spoken by Florencia Lozano (who by the way, I haven't yet mentioned in any of my blogs and that is very surprising as she is a HUGE source of inspiration in my life) I knew she got it. She pinpointed exactly how I felt about writing and it was so intriguing to hear her explain her thought process behind writing a play because it mirrored mine. I was just stunned and happily shocked to hear her answer to my question on how to write a play. It was just the kick in the teeth I needed to get with the program again. I knew what she said was the truth as I have written that way my whole life but I became afraid while writing this play and that fear consumed me. And then I made the mistake of thinking. I started analyzing everything and it started to become a chore for me to write and I began to dread writing it and so I would put it off. I was feeling so down about it and then the words I heard her say that night made me revitalized and ever since........my play is alive again. I am getting so much done with it and I am seeing so much progress without feeling any pressure at all. I am having fun writing it. I don't have a clue where it will end up and that makes me so happy because I know its on the right track again. I gave up planning it and now its all beginning to come together. It is amazing how that works, not just with writing plays but with life in general. The minute we stop planning every last second and just let go and start to feel is the moment we start living. And I personally feel so alive right now!!!!!!
Until next time,
Best regards to all
Mel
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