I just wanna live

Hey everybody. Yep, its been awhile. I am having way more difficulty keeping up with this blog than I thought I would. But that's life. I have been super busy doing lots of different things going lots of different places and just enjoying every moment. Which is the subject of today's blog. It's about life and learning to appreciate each and every moment, both good and bad because it's all we get. And as I have grown and matured, I have come to understand the following.I don't want to die.I don't. But even more than that,I don't want to not live life and experience it to the fullest.And I mean experience all of it.
Immense pain. Intense joy.
Immeasurable sadness.
Indescribable beauty.
Passion. Pride. Hope.
Disgust. Anguish. Anger.
I want to feel it all
And I will take the bad with the good
And the pain with the joy
And the sorrow with the happiness.
And all take my failures along with my successes.
Because the beautiful,yet frustrating thing
about life is this;
We can never truly appreciate the joy without
also experiencing sorrow
There is no way of truly being happy without going through sadness
Without first experiencing disappointment we never truly feel satisfaction.
Without first failing, we never know true success
If we never go through the darkness
We can't appreciate the glow of the light
If we don't lose, we wont truly appreciate and enjoy when we win.
That is the honest and brutal truth
We can settle for playing it safe and just getting by
And let our fear overwhelm us and overtake us
Let that fear consume us and keep us from going for what we want and strive for
Or we can let go of the fear, have faith and just go for it. Maybe its dangerous and maybe I'll die in the process of going after it
And I don't want to die
But even more than that, I don't want to not live. I don't want to live in fear and play it safe. I dont want to live the next fifty years settling for less and living in predictable safety. I don't wanna waste another minute being scared of going after what I dream and reaching for all my potential. That is gonna lead to regret and living with regret and the constant question of what might have been and if only is a fate far worse than death. I'd rather die today living life to the fullest and experiencing it all than living to be a hundred without ever taking a chance. Life is a high risk high reward. Sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose: but if you never play the game, you will ALWAYS lose. And that's unacceptable and inexcusable to me. Life is too precious of a commodity to waste on any investment  that is less than fulfilling. I don't even mean fulfilling as in successful and winning either. I think failure is just as important as success. What better way to get motivated to win than by losing. It's not about whether I'll fail or fall down, that will happen. It matters how many times I am willing to get back up and face the challenge. Adversity will strike. Character is born and created in the face of that adversity. How will I handle myself? That's when I will reveal my true self. And in those moments I strive to do my best. And to learn and attain as much knowledge as I can. Life is about growth and adaptation. It's about how much you are willing to focus, to listen, to understand, and to use everything you've learned to change yourself and better yourself so that you can help others as much and as often as you can. I want to do that. I want to help people and give to others as much as I can. I want to go as many places as I can, meet as many people as I can and live as much as I can. I want to feel enthusiasm and passion in all that I do and say and I want to always feel. Whether it's pain or joy, happiness or sadness, anger or contentment , I want to feel something always. And I always want to seize the day and live in each moment. Cause life is simply a series of many moments linked together like a chain and once you go through that moment, it passes on down the line-unable to be replicated or repeated. So in my life I'm gonna strive to always seize the day,live not just for today but for this moment, and never play it safe or settle for less than what I deserve. No I don't want to die. I want to live....until I die.

And until next time,
living life as it comes and breathing it all in
Mel