Hello everyone. I hope this finds you in good health and good spirits even if it is Monday. As those of you who have kept up with this blog all ready know, I spend a lot of time on twitter. Sometimes the craziness and drama is hard to deal with but there are definitely times when I see lots of wisdom and gives me great inspiration and motivation to share some of my own personal wisdom with you. And today I'd like to tell you about forgiveness. And why forgiving others even when they don't apologize is such an imperative process in the pursuit of happiness.
I saw this quote on twitter today from Robert Brault "life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got". This is one of the truest words I've ever seen written. And I know this from my own personal experience. I spent many years living in bitterness and anger because of the wrongs committed against me. I felt that I was owed an apology and that people who hurt me should seek redemption and come to me on bended knee in regret and full of contrition. But that never happened and as each day came and went, the more bitter I became. The resentment would grow deeper and I became angrier and angrier. And it turned me into a very angry, unpleasant and bitter shell of a person. People would walk on eggshells around me due to my unpredictable volatile attitude. One minute I'd be fine. The next I'd be on the war path and take out all my frustration and pain onto one unsuspecting and undeserving person after the next. I made everyone around me miserable because misery really does love company. Many of my relationships with people suffered severely and occasionally my inability to let go of the past sins committed by others towards me created an untenable situation where the relationship was forever ruined. When I think back on the many years I spent wasted and all the relationships that I sabotaged due to this, it really does make me quite sad. But in the last several years, I've slowly began to understand that forgiveness is the way out. The way to unburden yourself and release yourself from the spiritual and emotional prison you become trapped in is to forgive. I have learned that forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person. Whether they seek forgiveness and are repentant in their behavior towards you or whether they ever even acknowledge their shortcomings towards you has nothing to do with whether you forgive them or not. Forgiveness is about you and moving forward with your life. You cannot focus on the future and take any steps forward if you continue to live in the past and hold onto all that anger and resentment of others. It's not possible. You hold yourself back and punish yourself daily by never forgiving and waiting around for that apology from them. Those people who hurt you are not affected negatively by your inability to forgive them in the least. The only person lack of forgiveness hurts is you. Nobody else will ever suffer or be imprisoned by being unforgiving besides you. And it's all your choice. I've finally understood that me living in anger and bitterness was a choice I made when I refused to forgive others. I'm not saying that it's my fault or my choice that people hurt me or that they wronged me in some way because that's not the case at all. But me choosing to allow them to continue to hurt me over and over again by making what they did affect me so negatively that it turns me into a bitter, miserable person that makes everyone around me miserable is all on me. That's my own choice and my own mistake. I allowed them to control me. I allowed them to keep me locked up and I gave them permission to take possession of my thoughts and feelings all because I could not let the past go and take steps forward away from all the hurt and the pain and the anger. I literally waited and waited and waited for years for an apology that didn't come and was never going to come. But now, I realize and recognize that if I want to go where I want to go in life and if I want to be free to be who I want to be, I need to accept that apology. I am able to move on when I do that. I'm not saying its easy. It's a challenge to accept that and to forgive them even when they don't even recognize how badly they wronged you. but it's an absolute necessity to do this if you want to reach a place of positivity, light and bliss. If you want to take control of your life completely you have to be able to forgive those who may not deserve it but again, it's not about them. You deserve it. You deserve to not have that weight on your shoulders or those chains wrapped around your soul. You deserve happiness and all the best life has to offer. And you cannot get there if you refuse to forgive others. Believe me, I know this for a fact. Until I began to forgive others and accept their apologies even without their asking for it, I was just a mess. I wasn't in a good place and I allowed so much bitterness to destroy so much good in my life. This is the most important life lesson I've ever learned. Forgiveness is the key for unlocking that door to the future filled with your happiness and the key to unlocking all your dreams. So I have to agree with Robert Brault completely and wholeheartedly. Life does become easier when you learn to accept that apology you never got and most likely will never get. If you have any resentment or hold any grudges towards anyone in your life, forgive them and let it go. Don't do it for them because they deserve it. Do it for you because you deserve it. To me, forgiveness means letting go so that you can stop walking with your feet and mind in the past. It's the way forward into a kind of life you've always wanted and have always deserved.
Until next time,
Do well. Be well.
Mel
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