Freedom of (Disagreement) Speech

Hello again,

I hope this day finds you well and surrounded by love, peace and hope. I don't think I have yet blogged about how much of a twitter junkie I am, but suffice it to say, I love being on twitter. It's fun. It's entertaining and it's cool to have a place like that to express yourself and meet many new and interesting people. And I also find it awesome to be able to follow somebody with opposite viewpoints as me and that we can converse about this or discuss our different opinions. I love debate. I think it's wonderful as a human being to be able to talk about those different perspectives that help define us as individuals. And to live in a country where freedom of speech and expression is allowed. But here's the thing about freedom of speech: it is a two way street. I far too often see somebody post something on their twitter feed that other people respond to with displeasure because they disagree. And then the poster replies back with am I not allowed an opinion or I have the freedom of speech to express whatever I want. And while that is true, the same is true for the other side. The people who disagree with you have the same freedom to express their opinion of what you said. Freedom of speech does NOT mean that everyone must agree with you or shut up and keep their opinions to themselves. That's just not the way it works. I find it utterly frustrating when I see this happen (and since I'm on twitter all the time, I see it a LOT) because that is not what freedom of speech is about. The truth behind the first amendment right to freedom of speech is that the government "shall make no law abridging the freedom of speech". That literally means that the government cannot tell you what you can't and can speak about. They can't censor you (unless you make real threats against government officials). So, does that say anywhere that I can tweet what I want and cannot have anybody disagree with me and tweet that back to me or tweet a rebuttal? Nope, it doesn't work that way. I get so tired of people being labeled haters or bullies for simply disagreeing with someone else's opinions. There is a HUGE difference between disagreeing and hate speech or being a bully. I can disagree with you but I will always respect you as a person because at the end of the day, we're both human beings and are far more similar than we are different. That's why I love debate. I love learning. I love gaining perspective. I may not share your views but I sure would love to try to discuss them civilly. I think a lot of this country's problem is that we as people get so offended at the very thought of an opposing viewpoint that we become defensive and close minded. Whether we are progressives or conservatives, we believe what we believe and if anyone dares disagree or question us, we feel threatened and as though we are being treated harshly. I think we all need to take a step back and try to do more listening and less talking. I was once told that the reason God gave us two ears and one mouth was because we needed to listen twice as much as we talked. True that! We get so caught up in trying to be right or prove our point that we fail to listen to the other person and just feel that we are "right" and they are "wrong". Well, we feel what we feel don't we? I don't necessarily believe that there is a right and wrong on most issues (there are exceptions of course). So let's sit down and listen-I mean really listen and not just hear the other person. Hearing is simply a physiolical skill that most of us have. Listening is a psychological skill that most of us have a hard time doing. When we think we're right, we don't want to hear anything else so we just block it out. But that doesn't teach us anything. That teaches us to remain ignorant and to live in our own little box where nobody ever disagrees or calls you out on anything. That stunts our growth. We don't all feel the same or look at things the same way. Imagine you are at a screening of a film and they show you one scene and want you to interpret what you've just seen. Do you really think that everyone would see it the same way? Would all of their interpretations be the same? Of course not. So why do we think that everyone will see things the same in life. And when you talk to somebody else at that screening who saw the scene a different way than you did, would you call them stupid or crazy or wrong because of what they saw? I doubt it. You'd be intrigued that they saw things the way they did and you would want to talk to them to get more of their thoughts on the subject. And  you may come away with a different perspective. You may not see what they see but you may have learned something. That's the way I try to approach everything in life. Not saying I'm perfect at it. There are times that I get frustrated with people who don't agree but I do my best to let that frustration pass and not let that get in the way of discussion. And I feel one of my strong points is my ability to detach my emotions from debate and just go on logic and I can see what the other side is saying. I am very firm and confident in my convictions but I am also not too stubborn or close minded to listen to another viewpoint. I am proud of that to be honest because people always tell me I'm a great listener and that I don't make them feel weird or ostracized or judged for feeling how they feel. I have an open mind and love open dialogue. My entire family, besides my brother who lives in Wisconsin, and most of my friends are staunch, hard core religious conservatives. I am not. But that doesn't keep me from talking to them about political or religious issues. I look forward to those conversations. For me, I care more about people being able to openly express their feelings and being a place they can go for that than I do about being right all the time. And I am glad that I can be that place for people. But again, I'm not sitting here rolling around in my perfection and slamming anyone else who may not be so open in their dialogue. It's not always really easy to do that. And let's be clear. I am for free speech and I openly exchange in dissenting dialogue. However, I do not and will not support hate speech or bullying of any kind. If I see that, I will call it out all the time no matter who is doing it or in what venue. There is a difference between a difference in opinion and bigotry. Bigotry cannot be tolerated. But it also can't always just be shut down either. Sometimes I do engage with bigoted points of view because I really want to try to make my point because I think maybe they just need to engage in an enriching debate. But what I've found out is you cannot argue with close minded, ignorant people. Their mind is made up and nothing I do or say will change it. So I simply pray for them. I do. I pray that they may find some answers and that they may open up their hearts and minds to the differences in the world because honestly, I feel sorry for them. To be that close hearted and closed off to anything that may vary from the way they see things has to make for a pretty miserable existence. So I just leave it to God. I can't change them. You can't change them. But God most certainly can. And so with that, I will leave you with this: free speech doesn't mean people have to be yes men who simply agree with everything you say. That doesn't make them a hater or a bully. It just makes them a unique person. Embrace that and do your best to open up the dialogue and step back from your own notions and opinions to listen to their side of the argument. In the end, it will make you a better person.

Until next time
All the best
Mel

Catching Up

Hey everybody,

I'm baaaaaaaccccck. Did you miss me? I'm sure you did and are now jumping up and down on your couch in your very own Tom Cruise moment of exhiliaration at my return to blogging. Sorry, I've been MIA. For somebody who loves writing as much as I do, you'd think I could keep up with this blog better. But, life has simply gotten in the way. Well, that's not true. I just have gotten in my own way and made the excuse that life has gotten in the way. And it's not that I have had nothing to say. Trust me, anybody who knows me can attest, I always have plenty to say. That's not the issue. I just haven't felt motivated and had no desire to write this blog. I have been writing though because I'm a writer. It's what I do. It's as much a part of me as the air I breathe. But it's been writing more poems, more plays and I've added something new to my repertoire-song lyrics. If only I were a musician, I could have some songs composed by now but since I am not, I have to settle for being a lyricist. Oh well, I guess I can't be everything lol. This new venture of writing for me is awesome because now I feel I can actually take the step and actually write a musical, which is something I've longed dreamed of doing but never had the confidence to actually try. Not any longer though. Now I believe I can and so I will try. Will I fail? Who the hell knows, but I'll never know unless I try.

So, what else have I been up to lately besides writing? Well, since you asked, I have found myself doing something I never really thought I'd do. I have become heavily involved in politics. Growing up, I always thought the most boring thing in the world was politics, but then again I also thought I was a Republican so that shows how much I knew when I was younger. So now that I have grown up and evolved, I realize just how much politics isn't boring and how much passion I have for it. I have been grassrooting for President Obama's re-election campaign since the early fall and that has been going pretty rough to be perfectly honest but it's not surprising at all. Let's consider the climate I live in. I live smack dab in the middle of republican country Indiana. I am literally almost the only Democrat I know in about a thirty mile radius (hyperbolic sure but you get the picture). I haven't got a lot of success but that's okay. It's not really about the money I end up fundraising to help ensure the best candidate for the oval office gets re-elected in November. It's about the fact that I am taking a chance and becoming involved and getting active in things I am passionate about. That's a HUGE statement for me because I used to always stand back in the shadows and stay silent for fear of being noticed and having my voice heard. I used to be so damn afraid of my convictions and how I felt that I would just let other people drown me out. Now, I don't stand on the sidelines. I don't let others drown me out. I refuse to stand back in the shadows and not be heard. I am letting my voice be heard and standing up for what I believe in. Some people agree with me. Some people don't. But I am not afraid of differing opinions or putting myself out there only to be rejected or ostracized even. That is something that five years ago would not have ever have happened. Shows such tremendous growth and courage on my part. I am so proud of myself for that.

Besides becoming more active politically, I am also more actively involved in another passion of mine, charitable causes. I have always had a passion for helping other people no matter how small it may have seemed. And now I have started to get out and become involved in the community. Whether it's donating blood or volunteering at Relay For Life and most recently, building for Habitat for Humanity, it's such a privilege for me to be a part of something that helps fellow citizens. I truly believe that we as human beings have a responsibililty to help each other out in any way we can. I believe for me personally that this is my purpose and calling in life (besides writing). I just volunteered to spend two days down in New Orleans with the St. Bernard Project to help build a home for people who have been without adequate housing since Hurricane Katrina. I can't help but feel excited about the chance to do this type of work, even if I have never really done too much building. With Habitat for Humanity, it's been more advocacy and monetary donations-not hands on. But I look forward to that experience and giving hope and help to a few people who have been living in hopelessness and helplessness for far too long.

And with that, I will close this blog out. I wish you all much peace and much love until the next time.

Mel