Hello everyone. I hope this finds you in good health and good spirits even if it is Monday. As those of you who have kept up with this blog all ready know, I spend a lot of time on twitter. Sometimes the craziness and drama is hard to deal with but there are definitely times when I see lots of wisdom and gives me great inspiration and motivation to share some of my own personal wisdom with you. And today I'd like to tell you about forgiveness. And why forgiving others even when they don't apologize is such an imperative process in the pursuit of happiness.
I saw this quote on twitter today from Robert Brault "life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got". This is one of the truest words I've ever seen written. And I know this from my own personal experience. I spent many years living in bitterness and anger because of the wrongs committed against me. I felt that I was owed an apology and that people who hurt me should seek redemption and come to me on bended knee in regret and full of contrition. But that never happened and as each day came and went, the more bitter I became. The resentment would grow deeper and I became angrier and angrier. And it turned me into a very angry, unpleasant and bitter shell of a person. People would walk on eggshells around me due to my unpredictable volatile attitude. One minute I'd be fine. The next I'd be on the war path and take out all my frustration and pain onto one unsuspecting and undeserving person after the next. I made everyone around me miserable because misery really does love company. Many of my relationships with people suffered severely and occasionally my inability to let go of the past sins committed by others towards me created an untenable situation where the relationship was forever ruined. When I think back on the many years I spent wasted and all the relationships that I sabotaged due to this, it really does make me quite sad. But in the last several years, I've slowly began to understand that forgiveness is the way out. The way to unburden yourself and release yourself from the spiritual and emotional prison you become trapped in is to forgive. I have learned that forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person. Whether they seek forgiveness and are repentant in their behavior towards you or whether they ever even acknowledge their shortcomings towards you has nothing to do with whether you forgive them or not. Forgiveness is about you and moving forward with your life. You cannot focus on the future and take any steps forward if you continue to live in the past and hold onto all that anger and resentment of others. It's not possible. You hold yourself back and punish yourself daily by never forgiving and waiting around for that apology from them. Those people who hurt you are not affected negatively by your inability to forgive them in the least. The only person lack of forgiveness hurts is you. Nobody else will ever suffer or be imprisoned by being unforgiving besides you. And it's all your choice. I've finally understood that me living in anger and bitterness was a choice I made when I refused to forgive others. I'm not saying that it's my fault or my choice that people hurt me or that they wronged me in some way because that's not the case at all. But me choosing to allow them to continue to hurt me over and over again by making what they did affect me so negatively that it turns me into a bitter, miserable person that makes everyone around me miserable is all on me. That's my own choice and my own mistake. I allowed them to control me. I allowed them to keep me locked up and I gave them permission to take possession of my thoughts and feelings all because I could not let the past go and take steps forward away from all the hurt and the pain and the anger. I literally waited and waited and waited for years for an apology that didn't come and was never going to come. But now, I realize and recognize that if I want to go where I want to go in life and if I want to be free to be who I want to be, I need to accept that apology. I am able to move on when I do that. I'm not saying its easy. It's a challenge to accept that and to forgive them even when they don't even recognize how badly they wronged you. but it's an absolute necessity to do this if you want to reach a place of positivity, light and bliss. If you want to take control of your life completely you have to be able to forgive those who may not deserve it but again, it's not about them. You deserve it. You deserve to not have that weight on your shoulders or those chains wrapped around your soul. You deserve happiness and all the best life has to offer. And you cannot get there if you refuse to forgive others. Believe me, I know this for a fact. Until I began to forgive others and accept their apologies even without their asking for it, I was just a mess. I wasn't in a good place and I allowed so much bitterness to destroy so much good in my life. This is the most important life lesson I've ever learned. Forgiveness is the key for unlocking that door to the future filled with your happiness and the key to unlocking all your dreams. So I have to agree with Robert Brault completely and wholeheartedly. Life does become easier when you learn to accept that apology you never got and most likely will never get. If you have any resentment or hold any grudges towards anyone in your life, forgive them and let it go. Don't do it for them because they deserve it. Do it for you because you deserve it. To me, forgiveness means letting go so that you can stop walking with your feet and mind in the past. It's the way forward into a kind of life you've always wanted and have always deserved.
Until next time,
Do well. Be well.
Mel
Monday, September 30, 2013
Friday, September 27, 2013
Why This Trial Matters
After nearly five months, the case against AEG Live for negligence in the hiring, supervising and/or retention of Dr. Conrad Murray filed by Katherine Jackson on behalf of Prince, Paris and Blanket Jackson has been handed over to the jury to deliberate and sift through all the evidence presented by both sides and testimony of many people who worked with and around Michael Jackson in the last days and weeks of his life as well as multiple doctors who treated him throughout the past several years. The jury has a very challenging job ahead as they must sift through, sort out and inspect with a fine tooth comb all of the pages and pages of exhibits and transcripts. I know that they are going to their civic duty and take it seriously and come to the right and fair conclusion of the facts presented. But as we wait for their decision, there are just a few things I'd like to say about this case. Specifically, I'd like to answer three questions I have seen brought up repeatedly on social media by those individuals who don't agree with the filing of this wrongful death suit. I'd like to take a few minutes to respond to these.
The first point opponents make regarding this lawsuit is that there is no point because no amount of money will bring Michael back and there is no way to resolve this fact. They are right. There isn't an amount of money that will ever give Prince, Paris, and Blanket their father back or that will allow Katherine Jackson another opportunity to see her son or hear his voice or that will allow Michael to write another song to help try and heal the world or that will allow him to visit another orphanage and brighten a child's life even if for just a few minutes. And that isn't what they are seeking. In America, there are only two ways for someone to seek justice against those who have committed wrongdoing against them or their loved ones. Either through criminal court or civil court. Since AEG Live cannot be held accountable criminally, the only other recourse was to file a lawsuit in civil court. And the reason for this isn't about money. It's about justice. Every day, there are family members who file lawsuits against companies for negligence. There are several wrongful death lawsuits that occur each week. There is nothing wrong with seeking compensation in civil court from a company that failed to protect or was in some way negligent towards an individual. To say that it there is no reason to file a lawsuit against AEG live because it won't bring Michael back is the equivalent of saying there is no point in prosecuting Conrad Murray for his negligence because what's the point if him being punished in criminal court and going to jail won't bring Michael back? Nothing will bring Michael Jackson back to life. And certainly doing nothing to try and hold those persons and/or company involved in negligence will do nothing at all. If this had happened to your brother or son or father, you'd make the same choice as Katherine Jackson. When my father died, my family had to sue his insurance company and take them to civil court in order to receive the $50,000 life insurance policy. They refused to pay it because of a technicality on their end. We had to fight them in court to get that money that was owed to us. It wasn't about the money. We weren't being greedy or money hungry. It And we knew that it wasn't going to bring my dad back. We weren't going to stop being devastated he wasn't around or stop grieving or suddenly just get over his death. That money wasn't a replacement for his life. It was simply money that we deserved as surviving members of his family since he was no longer able to provide for us. Now you may scoff and say but that was only $50,000. But the point is the same. This lawsuit is about seeking compensation from the company that was negligent and holds some responsibility in the loss of Michael Jackson and this money is what the children and his mother are owed due to the loss of income from Michael. It's not about greed. It's about doing the right thing.
Second point that the opposition of this lawsuit makes is that AEG Live hasn't been affected by this trial at all and that they aren't broke or losing business. But that isn't a fair point because the verdict hasn't been reached yet and the trial isn't over yet. We must wait and see how this effects AEG Live but the goal isn't even to make them go broke. It's about holding them accountable for their negligence in the death of Michael Jackson. And AEG Live is all about money. If they have to shell out any monetary amount to Katherine Jackson and the three children, that will affect them and there can be no doubt about that. And the facts that have come out of this trial will make AEG Live the pariahs of the entertainment industry. Will every artist out there stop using AEG Live? Probably not but there will be artists who will refuse to work and sign with them due to this trial. And this will change the way that promoters do business. It will. And that makes this trial worth something as well.
The last point that I will discuss here is that the opponents say all this trial did was bring out negative and ugly things about Michael. What things? That he had an addiction to Demerol in 1993 and in 2002? That's not a secret. Michael himself wrote about this struggle in Morphine. There is nothing hidden from public view about his struggles with addiction. They paraded a lot of doctors up on the stand to testify and all they revealed was that Michael lived in lots and lots of pain and at times used too much narcotics for that pain. The other thing that AEG Live counsel kept harping on was about Michael being charged in 2005. Again, that's not a secret, and he was acquitted. So what's ugly or negative about that? These are things in his past that we all know and to just try and not bring those subjects up or ignore the elephant in the room is doing a disservice to Michael's memory. He lived through all that stuff and as people who love him unconditionally we will love and stand by him always even through his trials and tribulations as he asks us to do in Will You Be There. The one thing that I wasn't a fan of coming out was his medical history being made public. That wasn't fun but I understand why it happened. But again, if anything, that only made me admire and respect him more when you see just how much he suffered from so many physical ailments. Michael struggled but yet endured. What is so negative about that? And at the end of the day, Michael made a bad choice regarding using propofol but that doesn't make him a bad person nor does it mean he can be blamed solely for his death. AEG and Dr. Murray definitely contributed to his premature demise. And that is what this case is about. Dr. Murray was punished in a court of law and is sitting in a jail cell as I write this (now I won't talk about how him being released soon is an absolute joke in this blog). So that leaves AEG Live to face the music. And since they can't be charged criminally or be sent to jail, they must pay by paying out money to the surviving children and his mother. There is nothing greedy or selfish or wrong with that.
As I wrap this up, I just want to give positive thoughts to Katherine Jackson and to Michael's three children as they continue to try and navigate their way through the pain and the grief of living without their beloved son and father every day. And I pray for the jury to stay strong, be thorough and bring back a just and fair outcome to this trial. The road has been long and hard but in the end, I have faith that there will be justice for Michael. That doesn't mean it will replace him or that it can substitute his life. It just means that his death won't be completely in vain and that those who share blame in his death are made to face their accountability.
Until next time,
Be well and do well
Mel
The first point opponents make regarding this lawsuit is that there is no point because no amount of money will bring Michael back and there is no way to resolve this fact. They are right. There isn't an amount of money that will ever give Prince, Paris, and Blanket their father back or that will allow Katherine Jackson another opportunity to see her son or hear his voice or that will allow Michael to write another song to help try and heal the world or that will allow him to visit another orphanage and brighten a child's life even if for just a few minutes. And that isn't what they are seeking. In America, there are only two ways for someone to seek justice against those who have committed wrongdoing against them or their loved ones. Either through criminal court or civil court. Since AEG Live cannot be held accountable criminally, the only other recourse was to file a lawsuit in civil court. And the reason for this isn't about money. It's about justice. Every day, there are family members who file lawsuits against companies for negligence. There are several wrongful death lawsuits that occur each week. There is nothing wrong with seeking compensation in civil court from a company that failed to protect or was in some way negligent towards an individual. To say that it there is no reason to file a lawsuit against AEG live because it won't bring Michael back is the equivalent of saying there is no point in prosecuting Conrad Murray for his negligence because what's the point if him being punished in criminal court and going to jail won't bring Michael back? Nothing will bring Michael Jackson back to life. And certainly doing nothing to try and hold those persons and/or company involved in negligence will do nothing at all. If this had happened to your brother or son or father, you'd make the same choice as Katherine Jackson. When my father died, my family had to sue his insurance company and take them to civil court in order to receive the $50,000 life insurance policy. They refused to pay it because of a technicality on their end. We had to fight them in court to get that money that was owed to us. It wasn't about the money. We weren't being greedy or money hungry. It And we knew that it wasn't going to bring my dad back. We weren't going to stop being devastated he wasn't around or stop grieving or suddenly just get over his death. That money wasn't a replacement for his life. It was simply money that we deserved as surviving members of his family since he was no longer able to provide for us. Now you may scoff and say but that was only $50,000. But the point is the same. This lawsuit is about seeking compensation from the company that was negligent and holds some responsibility in the loss of Michael Jackson and this money is what the children and his mother are owed due to the loss of income from Michael. It's not about greed. It's about doing the right thing.
Second point that the opposition of this lawsuit makes is that AEG Live hasn't been affected by this trial at all and that they aren't broke or losing business. But that isn't a fair point because the verdict hasn't been reached yet and the trial isn't over yet. We must wait and see how this effects AEG Live but the goal isn't even to make them go broke. It's about holding them accountable for their negligence in the death of Michael Jackson. And AEG Live is all about money. If they have to shell out any monetary amount to Katherine Jackson and the three children, that will affect them and there can be no doubt about that. And the facts that have come out of this trial will make AEG Live the pariahs of the entertainment industry. Will every artist out there stop using AEG Live? Probably not but there will be artists who will refuse to work and sign with them due to this trial. And this will change the way that promoters do business. It will. And that makes this trial worth something as well.
The last point that I will discuss here is that the opponents say all this trial did was bring out negative and ugly things about Michael. What things? That he had an addiction to Demerol in 1993 and in 2002? That's not a secret. Michael himself wrote about this struggle in Morphine. There is nothing hidden from public view about his struggles with addiction. They paraded a lot of doctors up on the stand to testify and all they revealed was that Michael lived in lots and lots of pain and at times used too much narcotics for that pain. The other thing that AEG Live counsel kept harping on was about Michael being charged in 2005. Again, that's not a secret, and he was acquitted. So what's ugly or negative about that? These are things in his past that we all know and to just try and not bring those subjects up or ignore the elephant in the room is doing a disservice to Michael's memory. He lived through all that stuff and as people who love him unconditionally we will love and stand by him always even through his trials and tribulations as he asks us to do in Will You Be There. The one thing that I wasn't a fan of coming out was his medical history being made public. That wasn't fun but I understand why it happened. But again, if anything, that only made me admire and respect him more when you see just how much he suffered from so many physical ailments. Michael struggled but yet endured. What is so negative about that? And at the end of the day, Michael made a bad choice regarding using propofol but that doesn't make him a bad person nor does it mean he can be blamed solely for his death. AEG and Dr. Murray definitely contributed to his premature demise. And that is what this case is about. Dr. Murray was punished in a court of law and is sitting in a jail cell as I write this (now I won't talk about how him being released soon is an absolute joke in this blog). So that leaves AEG Live to face the music. And since they can't be charged criminally or be sent to jail, they must pay by paying out money to the surviving children and his mother. There is nothing greedy or selfish or wrong with that.
As I wrap this up, I just want to give positive thoughts to Katherine Jackson and to Michael's three children as they continue to try and navigate their way through the pain and the grief of living without their beloved son and father every day. And I pray for the jury to stay strong, be thorough and bring back a just and fair outcome to this trial. The road has been long and hard but in the end, I have faith that there will be justice for Michael. That doesn't mean it will replace him or that it can substitute his life. It just means that his death won't be completely in vain and that those who share blame in his death are made to face their accountability.
Until next time,
Be well and do well
Mel
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